First the good news. A couple of posts ago I mentioned Sermon Cloud, a website where you can listen to and/or upload sermons. Well, I decided to take the plunge and give it a shot.
Yes, I've posted my first sermon online! Woohoo!
Check it out if you have time. And if you like it, give it an "Amen!" or leave a comment. You have to register in order to do this, but at least it's free. And I'll continue to post my sermons each week with a link from this site.
And now the bad news.
I mentioned a few weeks ago that Robin was pregnant again. Sadly, the baby miscarried this past weekend.
I thought at first that I'd have some sort of deep reflection to share with all of you, but I'm afraid I don't. I'm not terribly depressed or in grief. It sounds kinda cruel, but one of my first thoughts was, "Well, I'd rather it happen now than when the baby is Micah's age."
But it is painful. I'm reminded of the line in The Princess Bride where Wesley (while still in the guise of the Dread Pirate Roberts) says to Buttercup, "Life is pain, highness!"
I wouldn't say life is nothing but pain. I actually think there's a ton of joy in life. I'm so happy to have Micah in light of this loss. There's so much joy in him. I love playing with him and tickling him and chasing him around the room. I love it when he brings his "Jesus Book" to me, sits on my lap, opens the book, and says, "Dahzah"--which is Micah's way of saying "Jesus."
There's so much joy; but pain is always gonna be there, too. People have told me there's a reason for this. And there might be. But I'll never know what it is. There also might not be a reason. It could just be that the baby simply didn't survive. No reason. It just didn't.
To be honest, thinking there's a reason doesn't make it any less painful for me than thinking there was no reason. All that really matters to me is that God is still sovereign and that this child is now with God.
Hmm. I hadn't thought of this until just now: one day I will get to meet my little one. Cool.
9.12.2006
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4 comments:
Our prayers are with you...but lets get together! Love yall!
Praying for you guys during this time. Always loved this lyric:
"You give and take away,
You give and take away,
my heart will choose to say,
'Lord, blessed be your name.'"
Markus -- we went through three miscarraiges in between our first and second child. Know that you are not alone -- there are many many people (many in your congregation, I'm sure) who have gone through the pain as well. Neither are you abandoned by the Holy Spirit. I wish that I could take away the pain -- know that we love you lots -- and we think you're pretty terriffic.
Russell
Thanks for your words of encouragement, guys...
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